The
Continuing Exploits
of Mr. Jones
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Episode 6: Mr. Jones Makes a Sting
3 weeks later
About 2:00 a.m. in the Executive
File Room.
Harry: Now remember
Jonesey, we're looking for anything that looks the least bit
suspicious.
Jones: It's a little
hard to see anything with these silly flashlights. I can't
believe we're doing this Harry. I mean if we get caught we
could be in a lot of trouble.
Harry: Relax Jonesey,
it's 2 a.m. The only people that have any bizness bein' in
this building at this hour is the janitors - and that's us.
So howz about ya givin' me a hand with the lock on this here
cabinet. These lock pickin' tools that those suits at the
FBI gave us are pretty nifty don't ya think? I mean it's almost
like bein' in one of them spy movies. Hey Jonesey, how's this:
"The name's Bond
James Bond." HaHa
Jones: Yeah, well
if we get out of here in one piece I can guarantee you that's
one career that I want no part of - this spy business is way
too stressful. I mean I have a family to think about.
Harry: Yeah sure
ya do Jonesey, we all do. So the sooner we get on with this
thing the sooner we're outa here. Now take hold of this handle
and pull hard with me. Ready?   One, two, three, go!
CRASH - filing cabinet topples
to the floor.
Jones: Whoa!
Harry, look at the mess we made - we'll never get all these
files back in order.
Voice From Darkness:
Hey! Who's in there?
Light goes on in hallway.
Jones: The only ones
in the building at this hour are the janitors - isn't that
what you said Harry? Well it seems that you forgot about the
Security guards. We are in big trouble!
Harry: Shh! Quiet
Jonesey. They don't know where we are. Quick, dowse the flashlights
and let's hide back in these shadows.
Jones: What about
all these files.
Harry: There's no
time, leave 'em!
Harry: Quiet now,
I think I here footsteps.
Voice From Darkness:
Anyone in there?
Flashlight Shines In
2nd Voice: Looks
empty, let's check the bathrooms.
Jones: Wow, that
was a close call. I can't believe they didn't notice the files
all over the floor.
Harry: I got news
for you Jonesey - these boyz up here ain't exacly the Pinkertons
- if you know what I mean. Minimum wagers all the way. Now
come on let's get to work.
Jones: O.K. what
are we looking for again?
Harry: Like I keep
tellin' ya - anything that looks - you know - funny.
Jones: Yeah, funny.
O.K. I know funny when I see it.
Jones: Hey, here's
something on the new cafeteria they've been talking about.
Harry: Jonesey, keep
your mind on the mission! We're looking for evidence - information
on offshore bank accounts - that sort of thing.
Jones: Yeah, well
that cafeteria is important to me. I've been eating peanut
butter sandwiches for more weeks than I'd like to remember.
Harry: Yeah, yeah,
yeah
Hey, wait a minute. Here's something
BINGO!
Take a look at this one Jonesey.
Jones: Operation
X? What kind of a label is that?
Harry: It's obviously
a code name Jonesey. Look at this - contact names in the Carribean
with pictures and everything. I think we hit the mother lode.
All right - look for anything else that has anything to do
with this Operation X and let's package this stuff up and
get outa here.
Jones: Are we going
to photocopy this stuff?
Harry: Naw, we'll
just take the files with us.
Jones: Won't they
realize they're missing?
Harry: Hey Jonesey
- in case you didn't notice - we just destroyed the filing
cabinet. Yeah, I think they'll know they're missin' all right.
The important thing is we got 'em and I think our friend Mr.
Evil is gonna be spendin' some time in a different type of
pin-striped suit than he's accustomed to
if ya know
what I mean. Now help me stand this filing cabinet back up
and let's get these files put away.
10 minutes later in the shadows
of the third floor of the parking garage.
Harry: O.K. Jonesey.
Now you understand the plan , right? At exactly 0300 hours
a guy in a suit is gonna walk outa that stairwell door. You're
gonna pass each other between these two cars and that's where
you'll exchange briefcases. Remember, there's cameras all
over the place here - make it look natural. This has to go
down without a hitch.
Jones: Harry, are
you sure you can't make the switch instead of me? I mean in
the movies this is always the part where the gunfire erupts.
And it's usually the guy carrying the briefcase that goes
down first.
Harry: No Jonesey,
they're gonna be lookin' for you. Now, take it easy. Nobody's
goin' down here. This is gonna be the simplest thing ya ever
did. Trust me. Now grab the briefcase and start walking toward
the car. By my estimate he should be coming out of the door
right about
yeah, there he is. O.K. now remember, you're
doin' this for your country Jonesey. Make us all proud!
Jones: That's easy
for you to say. You're not the one that is going to have to
take a bullet.
Jones disappears into the
shadows.
Next
Episode: Mr. Evil Goes to Jail
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