No
Pun Intended!
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Here is a great list of puns for the educated mind. We hope you have as much fun with these puns as we did. Enjoy!
1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's
round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from
too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye-doctor
on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whisky-maker,
but he loved her still.
4. A rubber-band pistol was confiscated
from an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the
envelope, it'll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near
the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen
in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They
ended up in a tie
9. A hole has been found in the
nudist-camp wall.. The police are looking into it.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit
flies like a banana.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat
rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay
here; I'll go on a head.'
13. I wondered why the baseball
kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug
rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
15. The midget fortune-teller who
escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
16. The soldier who survived mustard
gas and
pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
18. In a democracy it's your vote
that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.
19. When cannibals ate a missionary,
they got a taste of religion.
20. If you jumped off the bridge
in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
21. A vulture carrying two dead
raccoons boards an airplane. The stewardess looks at him and
says,
'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'
22. Two fish swim into a concrete
wall.
One turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'
23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again
that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says,'Are you sure?'
The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain
during a root-canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
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