Rules
to Live by:
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1. Never give yourself a haircut
after three margaritas.
2. You need only two tools. WD-40
and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40.
If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.
3. The five most essential words
for a healthy, vital relationship are: "I apologize"
and "You are right."
4. Everyone seems normal until you
get to know them.
5. When you make a mistake, make
amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still
warm.
6. The only really good advice that
your mother ever gave you was: "Go! You might meet somebody!"
7. If he/she says that you are too
good for him/her -- believe them!
8. Learn to pick your battles; ask
yourelf, "Will this matter one year from now? How about
one month? One week? One day?".
9. Never pass up an opportunity
to pee.
10. If you woke up breathing, congratulations!
You have another chance!
11. Living well really is the best
revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship
just might mean that the other person was right about you.
12. Work is good, but it's not the
most important thing in your life.
13. And finally... be really nice
to your friends and family. You never know when you are going
to need them to empty your bedpan.
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